Homesickness
by Vali West
Summary: Kili thought the worst sickness to catch was one of gold. He never thought there could be an even deadlier one. [Post-movie Verse]


Separate beds.

Separate rooms.

Kili hated it.

Four walls.

Stars replaced by a roof.

The breeze trapped outside.

He despised it.

The sound of walking on padded flooring.

Servants stumbling over each other to serve him.

Never a moment's peace.

Kili loathed every moment.

He developed a nervous twitch in his right hand as he stared into the wall of his bedroom, eyes narrow. His fingernails dug into his palm, his jaw clenching and unclenching. He heard the sound of the crackling fire in its heath, quiet murmuring as maids hurried past.

His bed, one of enormous size and décor, flourished with pillows and sheets of red and gold exchanged with his bedroll. A sweeping tapestry hung low, the dark wood of the frame highlighted in the firelight.

He rose to his feet, tugging on boots of leather that felt too tight and stiff. He took his new, light cloak that replaced his comfortable and familiar black one. He pulled his hair back and clipped it with a new, scratchless sterling silver clasp. His bangs, neat from a fresh wash, no longer lingered at his forehead, but were instead pushed back out of his eyes. Twin braids of honor lay across his shoulders.

His arms were more muscular, his legs not as slender. His jaw defined and strong, with sharp eyes that never missed a moment or detail. His mouth, curved perfectly into a stern frown, lips with a deep crescent.

His fingers were soft, tips of each digit smooth. His fingernails had been shaped into perfect ovals, scars on the back of his palm fading. His ears were newly pierced and adorned with small gold hoops, a cuff covering the outer shell.

He stepped briskly through the palace, his proudful stride replaced by a heavy limp on his right leg; a wound that would never heal. Two necklaces of gold swayed as he walked, a ring of ruby glistened in the shallow light. A dagger fashioned for a stylish statement rather than defense rested against his hip. He pushed great doors of iron open and slipped off into the night.

He ran.

He took off into a sprint, never looking back. Tears stung in his eyes as he brushed past large oaks of old, leaping over small fords and boulders. He didn't stop, he couldn't stop. Past familiar streams, well-known paths, everything he knew, he wanted it gone. Everything he had so much as had a glimpse of before, he wanted it to disappear. His right leg throbbed, his knee giving out ever so slightly with each step.

He gasped for breath as he stopped abruptly, falling to his hands and knees. He coughed, his entire body aflame as his chest heaved. He groaned as he wiped his mouth, slowly moving to lay on his back. Soft soil underneath him felt more comfortable than any bed, his eyes half-lidded as he stared up at the bright stars as they shined and fluttered in dance.

He raised a hand slowly, slowly above his head, fingers outstretched as he reached. He touched stars against the velvet of the dark sky.

_Tauriel..._

He drew his other arm over his forehead, shutting his eyes as tight as he could. He felt the well-known sting in his eyes, but did nothing to stop the tears as they trickled from his eyes. His throat burned.

Nothing was as it should be. Everything was wrong, _wrong._

The girl with hair the color of flame had disappeared. His uncle, now King Under the Mountain. His brother, confident heir to the throne. And... him.

The foolish prince who never ceased to dream.

If he closed his eyes tightly and listened closely, he could still hear it. The sound of laughter from his comrades and friends as they shared a meal together. He could still feel the hot fire he would sit by until it glowed with embers. The songs they would sing, arms around one another as they made music of the home they once knew.

He felt the cold mug of ale in hands, remembering what it felt like to smile. He could remember when he and his brother spoke of everything and nothing at the same time, strapping and securing their bond.

He could still feel the mane of his pony beneath his fingers. He could feel the cool breeze against his cheeks, seeing Fili's face light up as he turned to him with a grin. His brother's lips moved wordlessly, but Kili understood.

He could see Tauriel, hear her soft words as she spoke to him. He was mesmerized by the way her eyes danced and her mouth smiled so warmly as she spoke of the stars she loved so dearly.

He could hear everything.

He wanted to hear it again.

Her skin was so fair, so fine, so soft. He could feel the silk of her hair as he weaved his fingers through the locks tenderly.

He could still feel her hand in his, her fingers laced and intertwined so gently with his. Her fingertips flawless as he kissed them, adoring in the way color appeared on her cheeks, lovely as a rose and just as beautiful.

Then he opened his eyes.

A sky of deep purple and grey met him. The stars had disappeared, hiding behind thick clouds as they washed in. He heard the soft roar of thunder from afar, and he allowed his eyes to slide closed. He shifted onto his side, fingers curling into the undergrowth underneath him.

Trees whispered their secrets as leaves brushed against one another gracefully, the comforting sound of mourning doves filled his ears. He slowly reached for the familiar warmth of his brother, his hand touching nothing.

He curled, his legs tucked close to his chest as he wrapped his arms around himself. He willed himself to cry no more. A soft, lovely peace of sleep began to drift upon him, and he obeyed as his nerves calmed and his tense muscles relaxed.

He was home now.


End file.
